Small Victory Saturday

 

 

Hey guys! It's been another really tough week but I'm here and still plugging away. Things haven't gotten any easier yet but I'm taking things one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. Here's what I feel good about this week:

- I got through my gastric emptying study! Yay!

- I hung out with my neighbor and finally took the pink hair plunge. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time now, and I'm glad I finally worked up the nerve to do it. I had wanted it to be a bright vibrant pink (like, hot magenta) that would fade over time with some dark brown on top, but it turned out more of a highlighter color and all my previously dark brown hair turned a golden brown/ blonde and I actually like it a lot!

- Yesterday I felt a little better in the morning so I deep cleaned the bathroom. I even took a bunch of stuff from the bathroom and put it through the dishwasher because I am a little obsessed with putting things in the dishwasher. With the amount of time I spend laying on the bathroom floor it was good to get it all cleaned.

- Due to me putting things in the dishwasher I also had to unload the dishwasher twice! Sorry guys but seriously, it's the little things.

- Today I was feeling a little better so I decided to stop by my MIL's thrift store. She is going out of business and told me to come by and grab whatever I wanted, so I stopped by and ended up helping out too for a few hours. This is the first time I've left the house by myself in a few weeks (due to not having a car and being sick) so this was a biggie! Unfortunately I'm not feeling very good again now, so it'll be back to the bathroom, but I'm glad I at least got out for a little. Tomorrow we have tickets for Monster Jam so I'm hoping I will feel better for that!

I hope your week was good as well!

Small Victory Saturday

Another week has gone by and I've lived to tell the tale! This week was much more difficult than last week, so I've had fewer victories. But I'm trying to tell myself that I'm glad I've had them at all.

- This was my first week completely off Lexapro! Sunday was my last day after a month of slow tapering, and while I didn't feel too bad during the tapering, it's hit me pretty hard now. It's hard to tell what is me feeling like crap from my stomach issues and what is me feeling like crap from withdrawals, but I've had a major brain fog/ ache that I know is from withdrawals. It's a very strange and unpleasant feeling- it's almost out-of-body, and you feel drunk and light-headed and dizzy and weak, and it also hurts. I'm hoping it gets better instead of worse this next week because I have to wait another week before getting on a new medication since I'm going from an SSRI to an MAOI.

- N bought me broth at the store as well as Boost and Ensure shakes, and for the last three days I've stuck to a liquid diet during the day. I get a little pain/ nausea after I drink a shake (the hot broth was a no-go), but it's not as bad as when I eat solid food. I cheated the past two nights, one for a special reason and one because I thought I could handle a burger last night- and last night was stupid.

- But the special reason I cheated two nights ago was because I finally got to see my best friend Megan again! We hadn't seen each other since R's birthday party LAST MAY because she's been crazy busy, and I've been sick and anti-social, haha. We went to a delicious sushi place and I got miso soup, a California roll, and a tempura banana split that I shouldn't have eaten but was too good not to get. Seeing her was a huge victory!

- Earlier in the week I called two different doctors all by myself, haha. This probably sounds so crazy to everyone but I have major phone anxiety and especially hate calling doctors. But I scheduled a long overdue thyroid ultrasound for Monday, and my nuclear gastric emptying test for the Monday after that. 

- This is also going to sound really weird, but I started reading War and Peace for the online book club, and we were supposed to read the first 40 pages- and I'm about 170 in so far, haha. I just can't put it down! I'm in the second part now which is dealing with war, so I've slowed down a bit, but I'm totally shocked at how interesting it is. It'd be totally unreadable without my Kindle because there are huge sections in french, but my Kindle pulls up all the translations as well as footnotes right there on the page! I still have more than a thousand pages to go so I don't think my reading ahead will put me too far ahead of the pack in the coming weeks (months/ years?!)

- R has been very good all week considering how I've been feeling and we're both anxiously awaiting the arrival of first Darby Smart package that has a kit to make Sprinkles cupcakes.  I definitely should not eat any of those but I definitely will, haha.

Hope y'all had a good week!

Small Victory Saturday

 

When you have depression/ anxiety just getting out of bed in the morning and surviving another day is a check in the win column.What many consider simple tasks can prove insurmountable, and the inability to conquer these tasks can lead to further depression/ anxiety- creating a vicious cycle. When you're depressed/ anxious and also the primary caretaker of a child, things get a little more complicated. Not only do you have to wake up in the mornings, but you also have to care for the child as best you can. And the guilt associated with trying to raise a child while you yourself struggle with mental health issues is tremendous.

I learned long ago that it's not just ok, but important to celebrate the small victories in life. To take one day at a time, accomplish what you can and move on to the next day. That's why I decided to take a day every week to reflect on my small victories here- so that I can remind myself of what I have accomplished, and show others that it's ok to not be able to do it all.

So here goes:

- I wrote out and have almost finished my feature on Antenatal/ Post-Partum depression. It's been a difficult thing to share but I'm glad I have.

- I finished a particularly time consuming craft for my friend's baby shower. It was a true labor of love and I'm very excited to give it to her.

- I got R to dance class both days this week! My mom had to drive us yesterday but that's only because my car hasn't been working.

- I finally got down all the Christmas decorations in the living room (I like to have them down before the New Year but having everyone hit with the flu pushed that to the back-burner) and cleaned/ re-arranged it. I added two new pieces to the mantle that I really like and will post pictures of soon. I still need to put the Christmas decorations back in their boxes but I'm waiting for N to get the boxes out of the crawl space.

 

- I cleaned off my vanity and put all my makeup back. I make such a mess every time I get ready (which thankfully isn't every day) and sometimes the mess multiplies on itself until it's totally out of control.

- I cleaned my office, and cleaned it "Lauren style" which means every surface got scrubbed and every item got put back very precisely in it's very precise place. ;)

- I'm working on cleaning out the nursery today. And laundry too! Hopefully I haven't been premature in placing them in my victory column.

- R is happy, healthy (thankfully she's feeling better!) and never lacks for attention. And that is all that really matters. :)