F#!% It Friday

 

  

- Right now R is coloring in her My Little Pony coloring book. She'll grab a color and go "Mama watch me color blue!" Then she'll exuberantly color all over the page when I watch, and then quickly sit on it. Then she'll jump off and yell "SURPRISE!" so I can see what she just colored- despite the fact that she demanded me to watch her in the process of coloring. She is so funny!

- My head is also in a shower cap full of pink hair dye right now and I'm trying to wait as long as possible to let it really soak in. Yesterday my lovely neighbor bleached my roots (they were really long!) and the result was a weird reverse ombre that looked awful, haha. I posted a picture of it to Facebook and my friends said they liked it, but in real life it looked ridiculous. I'm glad we'll be back to pink shortly.

- My little brother is in town right now from California (he's a cook in Lake Tahoe) and so we're having a big (maternal) family gathering tomorrow at my parents house. My grandma and grandpa are SUPER conservative (not completely politically, but in dress/ manners/ etc.) and they are probably not going to be the biggest fans of my hair, hahaha. I mean, my mom makes sure to tell me every time we see each other that she doesn't like it, so I can only imagine what my grandma might say. Especially if she gets a few glasses of wine in her...

- R is going through a really shy phase right now, and wouldn't even look at my brother when we first went to see him. She covered her eyes with her hands the second we got out of the car and was screaming, clinging to me, and just having a fit when we got up to his room. Then he read her a story and it was instant BFFs again. She adores both my brother and sister and I know they love her too. Their relationships are so special to me! I'm glad R has so many aunts and uncles that love her (N's family is beyond amazing as well.)

- I'm working on a post about dystopian YA Lit books I've read. I decided I should try and read a few more series' before I put the post up, and right now I'm reading the Chemical Garden trilogy. It sort of sucks, but not as bad as some of the other ones I've read (*cough*Divergent*cough*) so I'm trying to get through it. I feel bad I've pushed my classic goals to the side but I need a looooong break after War and Peace.

- I've been stalking my health insurance website (everyone does this right?) and the $30,000 claim has processed. It changed from saying it was from my stomach doctor to saying it's from the hospital which would make a lot of sense. I can see how three full days and nights would equal 30k in charges. It says we may owe $1,456.6, which looks like the rest of the yearly out-of-pocket maximum from my insurance plan. I certainly hope so. The $130k charge (seriously, how the hell were two- not even very serious- surgeries that combined lasted MAYBE 2 hours be that much?!) so we'll see what happens with that. You know I'll be checking every couple hours, hahaha. A bunch of other claims processed for lesser amounts of money but the website says it's estimates may not be accurate (i.e. we may be charged more) so we should be rolling in bills pretty soon. Yay exciting!

- But the red Commander is now detailed and up for sale. I am praying we get some interest in it SOON!

An open letter to the 2013-2014 Colorado Avalanche

My dearest Avs,

Congratulations on the spectacular season. 112 points and third in the league? Are you kidding me? If someone had told me last September where you'd be finishing I'd never have believed them. That was one for the record books, literally (double literally.) And there are some real awards on the line now. Nathan Mackinnon is a shoe in for the Calder, Ryan O'Reilly should have the same chances with the Lady Byng, Semyon Varlamov has the honor of even being nominated for the Vezina (and really should have taken the Hart), and if Patrick Roy doesn't take home the Jack Adams then I am going to go on a murderous rampage. And I'm only sort of joking about that.

Before the season started nobody thought you would have the regular season that you did. Not these assholes, or this guy, or these people, or this guy, or these people, and the list goes on, and on, and on, and on, etc. Even the biggest Avalanche fans had a lot of questions. And I'll be honest, my expectations weren't very lofty either. But I was overjoyed when you decided to draft Mackinnon instead of Jones (like so many people here wanted you to do), and I was even happier when Patrick Roy was announced as head coach. A lot of people had reservations about Roy. He had never coached in the NHL before and that was concerning, especially when seasoned coaches like John Tortorella and Lindy Ruff went on the market last year. I was expecting a wildcard spot in the playoffs, maybe.

But I was optimistic, even if cautiously so. And then you guys flew out of the gate and blew everyone away. You won your first six games before losing to the Unmentionables, and then won six more. All season long you never had a losing streak of more than 3 games, you were only shut out once (and by the very, very good Bruins at that), and you beat every other team in the league at least once. Those are amazing facts, they are something to be proud of.

Despite all this success, people put you down all season long. They called you lucky, said you were overachieving, said you rode your goaltender (and yes, he carried the team many times but our offense was nothing to shake a head at), and that he was playing over his head. A lot of advanced statistics were pulled out of people's butts, and time and time again you showed them that those stupid statistics don't matter. The entire season people asked, "when is their luck going to catch up with them?", "when are they going to slow down?", "when are the wheels finally- and inevitably- going to come off this bus?" But that never happened. You were consistently good, even with periods of not being great, and with an excellent push at the end of the season (through some very difficult teams) you ended up at the top of your division. I don't think one person saw that coming, and I personally had thought it might never come again. Yes the Blues had to collapse a little for you to cement it, but fuck the Blues. I mean that with my whole heart.

And now comes the hard part. Everyone was so excited for the playoffs. It was tangible, it was electric. The entire city of Denver seemed to get into it and they lit up the capital in burgundy and blue. They hung team banners across Larimer Square. There were countless video montages and commercials and new segments before the games. Everyone was thinking Why Not Us?

I can't say too much about it, it's still too soon, and I'm just too heartbroken. You did not look like the same team in the playoffs, key injuries or not. What I dreaded is what happened- you gave people a reason to discount your regular season success when that's something that can't be discounted. You should have been better. You really should have been better considering your opponent. Flaws that were covered up in the regular season became apparent. The playoffs are a whole different ballgame and you saw that- most of you for the first time.

There's no other way to put it, the blue line is weak. Although Erik John showed that he's the franchise defensemen we had hoped he'd be, and Jan Hedja had a great season as well, there's a lot of inexperience and there's a lot of room for improvement. Moves have to be made in the off season, especially concerning our D. And Paul Stastny and Ryan O'Reilly really, really, really need to be resigned. I swear to god if Stastny isn't then I will riot in the streets. I said I'd go on a murderous rampage if Roy doesn't win the Adams, well, you won't want to see what happens if Stastny isn't resigned.

For countless years now I've wanted to watch an Avs game in May, and this year I almost had the chance. I was one day short. But I'm not mad- well I'm not that mad considering four leads were given up in game seven against the FREAKING WILD- I'm proud of the team for what they accomplished this season. Doing what nobody thought they'd do. Even at their hottest, real Avs fans knew that this was not the team that was going to go all the way to the cup. Not even close. But now we have hope for the future. Hope that Lord Stanley could be will be raised in this city before we're passing on our old jerseys to our children's children.

Get ready for predictions that Roy and Mack's second year will entail a sophomore slump. But I don't believe it, I refuse to believe it. Why Not Us?

Thanks for everything guys.

Tuesday Troubles

Stolen (with permission!) from Jen at Ramblings of a Suburban Mom!

 

- Alright y'all this first trouble is a real doozy. If you're not sitting down while looking at this you might want to. I logged onto my health insurance website to see if there were any claims pending from my surgeries and well... 

 

 

Those are JUST the claims from my doctor/ surgeon. They aren't from either the hospital or the anesthesiologist who bill separately. That is $164,368.68 in charges. I couldn't make this up if I tried. I did a lot of research into how much the surgery would cost (just the pacemaker though), and everything said 60k max. The pacemaker itself is only 5k and the surgery doesn't take very long. Never in a million years did I dream it'd cost this much money. If I'd have known I'd have never gone through with it.

 

I'm scared. I am really, really scared. I don't know how much we're going to be liable for when the claims are processed (they're still pending right now) but I am freaking out. Our surgery insurance is 80/20 and that'd leave us with almost $33,000 worth of bills if they even cover that much! I also don't think these charges include the hospital stay or anesthesia and if that's another god-know-how-many thousand, I am really going to lose it. If I don't lose it before we even get a bill...

 

- In other poopy health news I went to my doctor yesterday and turning up the pacer was a no-go. They want me to wait at least three months so my body can fully adapt. My brain says "I totally understand" and my stomach and heart are like "screw you we want faster results!" My appointment is scheduled for July.

 

- In news that should not be sad but is sad anyway, yesterday (after a weekend of prepping- thanks mom!) I listed all of R's old cloth diapers up for sale. There's over $500 of stuff I'm trying to get rid of, and I hope I can get rid of it fast! I want someone to buy the entire lot but I don't think that's going to happen. I already have a few people interested in different things, I just hate taking the time to split things up like this. If I get it all out eventually I'll be happy though. It's just sad to move on from something that I was so into at the time. If we were planning on ever having another baby I'd have saved these without a thought but since R will be our last and she's using the potty, it's time to say bye-bye.

 

- As you know, if you keep up with hockey, the Avalanche were eliminated from the playoffs last week (was it only a week ago? my days are running together!) in a total heartbreaker of a game. I have been planning on writing an actual piece about this season (not that most people who read here care but what the hay) but it's just been *too soon* right now. Hopefully I'll get that up this week.

 

- R's bookcase came yesterday and it's tiiiny. I mean, it fit everything it needed to fit, but it doesn't like... fill out the wall well? I don't know, this is a stupid thing to complain about. Also, the sliding sides don't stay put and keep rolling to the middle. I'm going to pick up some velcro strips and try and solve that problem myself.

 

- We still haven't painted R's room but our mortgage is due this week and N got half the paycheck he normally gets last week because of the vacation. Because he's a mechanic and is paid a flag rate (for how many hours of work he finishes, not how many hours he's there) he usually makes on average 70+ hours. During the summer when he's busy he's made over 100 hours before! But vacation pay is 40 hours a week which isn't money we could ever live on. Combine that with how much you spend going on vacations and well, we can never afford real vacations. Just hospital stays. Although if you read the first trouble we can't really afford that either.

 

- I've been reading the Maze Runner books and they are awesome! A thousand times better than those craphole Divergent books which I refuse to talk about. But the trouble is that they are kind of scary, and I am kind of a baby. I have definitely had some nightmares, hahaha! No shame!

 

Positive thoughts for me regarding those medical bills please! I need them!

 

Small Victory Saturday

 

It's been awhile since I've done one of these because Saturdays seem to get so crazy around here. Today was a really awesome day though, so I thought I'd share more of what went well this week.

- Earlier this week I deep cleaned our living room (after I bought a new rug for it!) and it felt so good. Well physically it actually felt awful and I cried all night from abdominal pain, but it was good to get done. Of course it's messy again, but really just needs to be spot treated.

- I also got R's room cleaned out. I sold all her nursery furniture, and am just waiting on getting her old bedding and storage baskets sold. I thought for sure they'd go before the junky furniture but I haven't gotten any interest yet! I just want all of it out of here! All her new furniture (except for her bookcase which is coming Monday) is set up and the room just needs to be painted. I'm going to take my time with that though because I really need to focus on my health.

- I started washing and sunning all her old diapers in preparation of selling them. I left them all at my moms house because she can sun more of them on her huge deck and she's been washing and drying them for me when I'm not there. I am listing them for sale next week, no exceptions!

- R and I got out quite a bit this week, even a trip to the dog park with just the three of us (including Hank.) I was worried I'd having trouble walking the mile+ around the dog park but I felt fine. It's more of bending and twisting movements (like vacuuming) that hurt me.

- All this has been made possible by a slight reduction in nausea! I didn't take any nausea meds yesterday (although I broke down and took a stomach emptying one), and I've only taken one today- but that's because I woke up so incredibly naseous in the morning that I had a panic attack. And I couldn't spend today feeling like crap because...

- It was R's day to shine! We slept in, and when she woke up she found her two presents. A brand new My Little Pony that had magically appeared over her while she slept and a MLP adventure set that I had wrapped and put on her bedside table. It was the sweetest thing- as soon as she woke up she walked into my room with the present. "Is this a present?" she said with her eyes wide. When I told her yes she said, "Is it for me? Can I open it?" and she squealed with joy when I said she could. She loved it!

We took a shower and then went to visit N at work so we could get lunch with him. She had an entire chocolate cupcake and a few bites of hamburger (of course, haha), and then we went to an indoor trampoline park called JumpStreet. It's one of her favorite places in the world (probably number 2 after Gigi and Grandma's houses which are tied for 1.) She jumped and played for hours and then we went to Toys 'R Us for her to spend a giftcard and some cash she had gotten.

She picked out a bunch of MLP stuff along with two cars (she finally got the police car she's desperately been wanting) and a toy horse. I loved watching her pick stuff out- seeing what tickled her fancy. If something was too expensive she was a perfect angel about putting it back. I was not so good when I was her age! After the toy store we went to our favorite cupcake boutique, Gigi's Cupcakes and she picked out a bright pink cupcake with a crown on it! She'll have it after dinner seeing as how she had a full cupcake lunch, haha.

I thought for sure she'd nap when we got home but of course she had more energy than ever and jumped on her bed while watching Clifford on the iPad. She just cracks me up. We had an amazing day and it wouldn't have been possible without the pacemaker. Of course I still don't feel very good, but I felt good enough to be out all day and that is HUGE progress. Hopefully my small victories will start getting much bigger! :)

My baby is three!

Three years ago today, at 5:55 p.m. a baby was born. Or I should say, finally born because I pushed for six hours while she laxidasically made her way out of my womb.

And she was perfect.

She took a few seconds to observe the world around her before opening up her tiny little mouth and announcing with a scream that she was here. Reagan Olivia Blehm was here to change the world.

We had a rough start, but after a few months my love for her hit me like the proverbial sack of bricks. And I cried and I cried because I loved her so much. It was as if my heart had never been full until she came into my life. She completed me.

Today she is the funniest, sweetest, most incredible child I've ever met. I marvel every day at her wit, compassion, and boundless love. She feels the distress of others and delights in their joy. She is always thinking about the wants and needs of others, and always makes sure to bring me a cheese stick if she's eating one herself.

She is the light of my life, my pride and joy. My heart bursts as I watch her become a little person. She is becoming an awesome little person. 

She is my first, and definitely my last, and I try and soak in every moment of her life. She may have blossomed into a total "threenager", and she may scream "YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU DON'T WANT ME!" and run into her room and slam the door when I tell her not to put spare change in her mouth, but I delight in every hilarious outburst. (On most days.)

In honor of her birthday I've conducted a little interview:

Favorite Color: "Rainbow Dash"

Favorite Pony: "Fluttershy" (I'm pretty sure it's actually Twilight Sparkle)

Favorite Food: "Mac 'n cheese"

Favorite Song: "The Hammer Dance and the Princess Dance"

Favorite Animal: "I like horses, I like Blackjack" (The pony from her birthday party)

Showers or Baths: "Baths, no, showers, no baths, ummm"

As I finish this R (who has opened Pandora herself on N's phone) is dancing and singing along to Katy Perry's Roar. She is just the sweetest.