S#!% My Daughter Says

I've seen a few other bloggers do this (Candra from Camo and Lipstick comes to mind recently) and with some of the things R's been coming up with lately I knew I had to do it too.

R has had a big personality since the day she was born. Even with the three months of screaming, I've always been able to tell from her facial expressions that she was going to be hilarious one day. Now that her language has really developed she has come out with some doozies.

WARNING: If you are offended by a sweet little toddler talking about butts (she is obsessed), you might not want to read this. ;)

Without further ado...

"Bubba I need to take a bath. I need to fart like a mermaid!"

"HOW YOU LIKE THAT" - After burping in my face.

(N and I have never said that around or to her!)

"Mama lemme poop in yard!"
"No Reagan, please just poop in the potty for right now."
"It's ok, Bubba will clean it up."

(She's pooped in the yard before. She pees out there regularly.)

"I love you big sister Mama! I love you big sister Bubba!"

(angrily) "NO MAMA. I DON'T HAVE A CUTIE MARK, I HAVE A BUTTHOLE!" - After asking her if she has a cutie mark like the ponies in My Little Pony.

"Lemme listen Rainbow Dash Died" - Talking about Love Don't Die by The Fray.

"I'm tired, I had a long day at work!" - What she says every time she's tired.

"Let's go get frappuccinos!" - Speaking as one of her monster trucks to the rest of her monster trucks.

"Bubba I have to poop, wanna come watch? Please?"

(She likes to make intense eye contact with you as she poops.)

"I have an egghead!" - After she fell and I told her she had a "goose egg" on her head. 

(Pretty sure she got "egghead" from My Little Pony.)

"Look at me! Look in my eyes!" - When you're not listening to her.

"What is this parking lot?!" - About the outside of our house.

"I WANT BUTTER!"
"The butter is all gone."
 (skeptically) "Lemme see butter all gone!"

"Don't worry, Reagan doctor." - After poking me with a shoelace.

"Awww sweetie pants!" - After scratching me with said shoelace.

"You happy now. You calmed down." - After getting mad at her for not getting in her carseat.

"But it cracks me up!" - When I told her to stop running around in the Verizon store.

"He's a cutie!" - Talking about Paul Stastny during a TV interview.

"PUNCH UM IN HEAD! PUNCH UM IN HEAD! - Watching a hockey fight on TV.

"It's a hot rod mama! So fast vroom vroom!" - When I asked her what was on the shirt N got her from the drag track.

"NO MAMA! MINE MOOTACHE! - When she sneezed in the shower and I tried to wipe the boogers off her face.

"Readyyyyy... GO!" - Every time she watches a hockey faceoff on TV.

"Wash my butt!" - When we were in the shower and I asked her to stand up so I could wash her legs.

"DAMNNN" (as in "niceee") - Picking up a headband she found on the ground before putting it on.

"Mama is butt licker!" - After crawling up into my lap, brushing my hair out of my face, and smiling sweetly at me.

"GOOD GAME!" - After coming up behind someone and smacking their butt.

"Who do you love more; Mama or Bubba?"

"Bubba"

"Who do you love more; Bubba or Gigi?"

"Gigi"

"Who do you love more; Gigi or Skittles?"

"SKITTLES!"

"My legs broken. I need to go the hospital, get them cut off." - When N asked her why she wouldn't walk by herself.

This little girl isn't even three yet and she is already sassing with the best of them. I look forward to many more years of hilarious outbursts. I never know what she's going to come up with next!