Thursday Thoughts

Ramblings of a Suburban Mom

- We had a strange morning today. Last night R kept waking up crying and saying that her legs hurt (growing pains is my guess) so we let her sleep in our bed. She slept very fitfully and when N was about to leave for work she heard him go downstairs and BOLTED out of bed screaming, "BUBBA! BUBBA! I NEED YOU!" He set her up in her own bed with some cartoons and she watched them/ slept while I slept too. Then she woke me up because she had pooped in her overnight pull-up (uggh) and it wasn't pretty. I put her in the shower and she wanted to get out fairly quickly. I wrapped her in a towel and set her on her bed so she could dry off. She fell back asleep and slept until 1:30pm! I'm not sure if she's just growing or fighting the bug I had on Sunday/ Monday but she seems ok right now.

- I used the opportunity of her sleeping to sleep more myself. I have felt awful this week and it's really bumming me out. Two weeks ago I felt pretty good and figured my pacer was helping. Then last week I had my period and the hormone shift always makes my GP a lot worse, so I figured that's why I didn't feel as good. It's over now but this weeks I've felt just as awful. This week I feel exactly like I did before surgery.

- As you have probably realized I haven't started my elimination diet yet but I need to. My motility is still as awful as ever which I knew would happen so I need to be more proactive about it. It's just going to take time to do things like bake bread with no grains or dairy or really anything (uggh) and I just feel too sick to even care right now. I'm hoping N can help me get on the right track.

- In non-health related news R has her recital photoshoot on Sunday! They're going to get professional pictures of them taken in their costumes and they want all the little girls to have "curled pretty hair" and makeup! Hopefully R behaves because this could either be the cutest thing ever or a total disaster.

- This is so accurate:

 

 - Yesterday was a very bittersweet day for me. We finally sold the red Commander which was my second car ever. My first was the Wagoneer that I got into the horrible accident in, and it was after that accident that my dad took pity on me and bought me the Commander. I'll never forget picking it out on the lot, and driving it home white knuckled because it had snowed and I was still fresh from the accident and totally freaked out.

It drove me to this house for the first time, home from my wedding, and to and from our honeymoon- where we almost blew up the tranny going off road! It was our last ride as a family of two and our first ride as a family of three. It took me to countless days of school and waited for me after every emotional, panic attack filled day on campus. It drove me to graduation, and more than an hour away to pick up our sweet Hank. We went so many wonderful and terrible places in between, and I'm going to miss it so much.

But as nostalgic as I am, when the time came to chose between it and the other Commander that N put the new motor in, I was too in love with the sunroof/ heated seats/ rear a/c, etc. of the other car. Seriously guys, that sunroof is the best thing ever. Last night a guy came to drive her away and I sobbed like a baby. I didn't meet the guy who took it but N told me he has 4 kids and needed the Commander for it's 3rd row. I'm glad it's going to a family, hopefully they will love it as much as I did. I think they will.

Goodbye Freedom Mobile. I will forever hold you in the place in my heart reserved for inanimate objects. Happy trails.

So What Wednesdays

Today I'm linking up with Life After I "Dew"* and saying so what if...

 

*I know Shannon hasn't posted this linkup in awhile (my heart goes out to her as the mother of a baby that cried 24/7) but I wanted to do it anyway.

 

- R's comforter came today and I HATE IT. Serious sad face. I didn't realize there were only ruffles at the bottom of it, not all over it. There's also a random stain on the bedspread and on the pillowcase it came with. Nothing I can't bleach out but still, uggh. Why can't I just be rich and afford the things I really want?! ;)

 

- R's recital is officially sold out and only N and I have tickets. None of the grandparents got them in time and everyone is bummed. The dance teacher is trying to see what she can do to maybe do two performances (one in the morning and one at night- I'd try to get R in both), and I feel for her frustration. It's hard to please everyone!

 

-  I am dreading having to paint R's room. It a pretty dark color of green so lord only knows how many coats of primer we're going to need. And my rainbow chevron idea? Well, N might kill me, and I might kill myself, but I am determined to get it done.

- The bathroom is leaking somewhere and it's getting bad. Since we're not doing the kitchen right now (so many sad faces) we really need to focus on fixing the bathroom before some serious damage occurs. If it hasn't already. But all N does when he's not working is work on projects around here and I know it sucks for him.

- Because speaking of crappy projects that never want to get done, he finally put the new transmission in the red Commander and last night it wouldn't work right. If the company he bought it from sold him a faulty tranny I am going to be beyond pissed. Yeah they might replace it just fine but the labor he put into that is not replaceable. Neither of us want him to have to do it again. -_-

- My phone upgrade is this week! The screen on my Razr Maxx is so broken you can see the motherboard showing through, but I really don't want to spend money on a new phone right now. I've also been planing on switiching from Motorola to Samsung and I'm kind of getting cold feet about it. N and my mom both have Galaxies (s3 and s4 respectively) and they love them, but uggh uggh uggh FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!

- I've really over-done my activity level the past few days and last night I was in more pain than I was in right after my surgery. After hours of excruciating pain (and crying to N, telling him I was going to rip my pacer out right then and there in bed) I broke down and took one of the Dilaudid pills I was given. Big mistake. The pain subsided but I was so nauseous, dizzy (even though I was laying down!), and sweaty that I kept waking up about every 20 minutes feeling like I was going to die. Do they purposely make opiates make you feel like crap so you don't get addicted to them? Yuck.

 

- I am estatic today is the last day of April. It has been a terrible month!

Sunday Social

1. 5 songs you’ll listen to the rest of your life:



- Taking Back Sunday - You Know How I Do
- Brand New - Ok, I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't
- The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
- Blink 182 - All The Small Things (Such a good video!)
- Jimmy Eat World - The Middle (Also a good video!)

2. 5 things on your bucket list:

Source

- Visit somewhere tropical
- Get corner, glass seats to an Avs game
- Publish something
- Work on a political campaign (have to use my degree somehow!)
- See Brand New in concert

3. 5 celeb you’d love to hang out with for a day:

- Jennifer Lawrence, duh
- Basically any celebrity chef
- Ian McKellen (preferably with Patrick Stewart!)
- Martha Stewart
- Gabriel Landeskog ;) ;) ;)

4. 5 things you always carry in your purse:

- Phone
- Keys
- Wallet
- Nausea Meds
- Sometimes makeup

5. 5 books on your reading list

- Everything left on my Conquering the Classics list...

6. Share the last 5 pictures on your phone:

 

 

P.S. We don't really celebrate it, but to those who do, Happy Easter!

Sunday Social

1. What is your ideal way to relax?

Sleeping! If I'm not asleep I'm not relaxed.

2. Where is your favorite place to be?

At home with my family. (Preferably in bed, haha.) But I'll also pick a fancy hotel room in a beautiful location with my family. (As long as the bed is comfy!)

3. Who do you consider your biggest role model?

I'm not really sure. There's no person I "look up to" more than I do the other people I look up to. I value different things in different people.

4. What does your life look like in 3 years?

I really hate acting like anything in the future is certain because I know how well my life likes to blow up in my face, but what I'm wishing for? Health, happiness, and hopefully a new home! Other than that I don't want a thing to change!

5. If you could go back and change one decision what would it be?

I would go back to high school and change my stupid decision not to take the psychiatric medication I was prescribed. I missed out on a lot of life because of that.

6. What is your biggest accomplishment in life thus far?

Marrying my best friend, graduating with my BA and a 4.0 GPA , and of course...

 

So What Wednesdays

Today I'm linking up with Life After I "Dew" and saying so what if...

- ...I'm late to this link-up. I was so good at hoping on this one early but now that R has dance on Wednesdays instead of Tuesdays I keep missing it. ETA: The link-up doesn't seem to have been posted for this week but that's ok. I love the format for organizing my thoughts/ some things I want to share!

- ...Dance Moms totally lied to me last night. Chloe, Maddie, and Mackenize (the latter two are sisters) all did solos and during awards they showed Chloe win 3rd, Mackenize win 2nd, and Maddie win 1st (as usual.) Well those were just the overall awards and Chloe won 1st place in the teen category! She is my favorite and I am way too invested in those children that I never have, and never will, meet. ;)

- ...I cannot stop laughing about this (WARNING: video NSFW for about a half a second.) I feel like all sorts of funny stuff happens on the news in Denver. I just give props to everyone for not totally losing it. I don't think I'd have been able to stop laughing.

- ...The Avs lost to the Canadiens last night (uggh) and now we're tied with Chicago in the standings. No offense to Chicago (they're the team I always root for when the Avs inevitably don't make the playoffs) but I want that number 2 spot. Not because I care about "home ice advantage" but because I want to finish the season higher in the standings than the reigning Stanley Cup champs. How cool would that be for the team who finished second to last, last year? WHY NOT US BABY!

- ...If I'm not a fan of the San Jose Sharks, I think this is awesome!

- (Not really a "so what" but...) Someone just "recommended" (it's the Jezebel version of liking) my post-partum depression story (you can read it on the blog here) and I looked at the views- almost 30,000! I can't believe my story was able to get out to so many people! I've been meaning to write a sort of follow up about parenting and mental health but I was in too difficult of a place for awhile. I may start working on it soon.

Sunday Social

1. Biggest Middle school fashion mistake?

That is an easy one (aside from everything I was doing with my bangs in 7th grade): Abercrombie (Kids) windbreaker sweats. I had them in about 5 different colors and I thought they were so cool. They unzipped at the bottom like the ones in the picture (pretty sure I had that exact pair) and I'd wear them around unzipped like that, feeling like I was wearing bellbottoms (also very popular in the early 00s) and feeling the breeze on my ankles.

In high school I went a little overboard on the low-rise jeans. It didn't help I always wore little kid's shirts that were way too short for me. And the padlock necklace (with a padlock and chain bought from Home Depot because I was PUNK ROCK) and the red aviators? Lord help me.

This wasn't really the best look either... (I have some really embarrassing Myspace selfies saved on my photobucket.)

2. Who were your best friends in HS? Pics?

I don't have many pre-college pictures on my computer (and I deleted most of them , but I had a really neat group of friends I cycled in and out of in high school while dealing with my own issues and natural anti-social tendencies. When I was in high school being "emo" or "scene" was starting to be a big thing, and while we sort of bordered on that we were mostly just "alternative" geeks/ smart kids. We were hipsters before hipsters were even a thing, which I think makes us more hipster than ever.

Just found this picture that I was tagged in on FB. I'm on the right, somehow wearing 3 different shirts?

3. What was a typical weekend like for you in HS?

There were lots of typicals depending on what I was going through at the time. Freshman and sophomore year my girlfriends and I would cruise the new AMC 24 and "see a movie" i.e. scope cute guys. We'd also hit up local "shows" and oogle the cute band boys. And occasionally we'd frequent the local skate park too since there was nothing I loved more than some cute skater boys. ;) (I ended up marrying a BMXer- my high school self would have been appalled!) Junior year I got my first "serious" (LOL) boyfriend and I spent just about all my time with him. Senior year I'd get home from school on a Friday afternoon and immediately go up to my room and sleep until the following Monday morning- occasionally getting up to go to the bathroom. That was a really difficult year for me.

ETA: Senior year when I wasn't sleeping it was a big thing for my friends and I to go to a coffee house downtown and drink black coffee (yeah I was getting banana milkshakes and sandwiches) and chain smoke cigarettes while talking about "philosophy." All my friends were uber intelligent and I always felt like what they said went way over my head. But I tried to fit in. And lord knows I chain smoked enough during that short period of time to probably doom me forever. Thank god that awful habit didn't last long!

4. Did you have any boyfriends/girlfriends? Tell us about that.

Oh god can I not? As soon as I hit high school I was completely boy crazy, and the most obnoxious flirt ever. I met my first boyfriend ever when his band (he was the lead singer) preformed at my school and we exchanged numbers: i.e. I gave him my number and never contacted him because I was too embarrassed. Turns out I had given him the wrong number like an idiot, but we met again at a Battle of the Bands at some church. That ended when I told him I'd date this other guy if the other guy was interested in me, I was such a brat!

I had another boyfriend after that (a friend's super cute older brother who had come to stay with him in the Summer) but that ended when he left in the fall. My next boyfriend (I think?) was my first serious one and the less I say about all that the better. I was head over heels but struggling severely with untreated Bipolar disorder (I was prescribed medication but refused to take it), and I was just not a nice person to him. Eventually he got into drugs and we mutually broke it off. I was utterly heartbroken, and to make things worse had completely ignored all my friends while spending almost a year with this guy. I tried to get back together with him a few times but nothing ever came of it- thank god. I dated a few other random guys towards the end of high school but that was it until I met N. (Now hooking up with guys is a different story. Oh college!)

5. Did you have any secret codes with your friends? Spill your secrets!

Oh. My. God. Ok, so my freshman year one of my friends (who I recently re-connected with and adore!) and I used to sneak off to "smoke pot." Lord knows what the guys at school were selling us because we were NOT getting high. I got actually high for my first time in college so I can affirm that. Anyway, for some reason we called it "burning CDs" and thought we were so sneaky. I laugh so hard thinking about those days!

6. If you could relive one day/moment/experience from middle school or high school, what would it be?

My parents were super anti-sleepover after my freshman year (for good reason obviously) but somehow I got to ok to sleepover at a friends house, and my entire group of friends ended up spending the night at one of the guy's houses since his parents were out of town. Of course there was a good deal of debauchery going on, but we were all just having such a good time. I struggled so much in high school and remember so little of it (yay medication!) that it's hard for me to pick something out. I have a lot of regrets, but I don't think I'd do it over. Unless I could do it over and meet N earlier. ;)

So What Wednesdays

Today I'm linking up with Life After I "Dew" and saying so what if...

 

 - I'm late the link up this week but the fact that I had the energy to do this is definitely an accomplishment for me right now!

- I took Hank to the dog park today since it was a balmy 46 degrees (practically flip flop weather) and felt weird about being out without R. My mom has been watching her during the day a few days a week for the past few weeks while I work through my medication switch and this damned Gastroparesis (post on that coming later), and it's been nice but I've missed her. I wish I could say the same about her- she is living it up with her Gigi!

- Hank has been dirty and gross for a few weeks now, and got over the edge disgusting at the dog park today because it was so muddy. It's too much to bathe him here now that he's over 100lbs and we have one tiny bathroom and tub, so I made him an appointment for a bath and brush at PetSmart but it's not until tomorrow. We have a stinky night ahead of us!

- I have a BzzAgent campaign I need to finish in order to post about but I've been too sick to go to the grocery store. Uggh. I need to go later this week because:

- I am using my Disney Side party kit to help a friend with her baby shower! I am planning on making cupcakes and cookies (I got cupcake liners and cookie cutters in my kid) and I'll need to go to the store to get mix for both.

- Speaking of sweets, N got both the cookie dough and rice crispy Oreos at the store and despite my stomach hating me I tried both. The cookie dough is just too chocolatey between the chocolate chips and the actual cookie, and the filling just tasted like brown sugar. It wasn't gross per say, but I'm good with only eating one and not having any more. The rice crispy one was surprisingly good! It tasted mostly like a golden (vanilla) Oreo but with a yummy crisp in the middle. They were worth a try and now I want to try the lemon ones!

- I was already spoiled on Facebook for the first Olympic hockey game and I am PISSED. You would think that both the Avalanche organization and the NHL would be better about using a spoiler alert or something. ANNOYING.

- I am jamming out to a song by my favorite band Taking Back Sunday and just had to post some of the lyrics to my Facebook. The song may be about a girl cheating on her boyfriend and relates to my life in exactly no ways, but I am loving it.

 

- I take so many creeper pics of N and R sleeping whenever she's sleeping in our bed and they look cute. I don't think N is embarrassed which is good because I am going to keep doing it! ;)

(Ok maybe I have a problem...)

I've got some more posts to work on so until next time!

Sunday Social

1. What is your favorite thing to watch on a girls night?

Well, I don't really have girls nights (I don't really have anything but regular nights these days, haha) but my BFF and both love to watch Dance Moms and then gossip about it on Facebook. Next week promises to be a doozy (pretty sure this is where the fake arrest is coming and even though it's fake I don't even care) and I'm SO EXCITE.

2. What is your favorite thing to watch on your day off?

I also don't really have days off since I'm a stay at home mom, so off the top of my head another thing that I've found I've enjoyed watching is collections of hilarious Vine videos. I don't have a Vine account but you can watch compilations on YouTube and man, people are really funny/ clever! This is also a good list.

3. What is your favorite thing to watch when you're sick?

Trashy TLC shows FOR SURE. Honey Boo Boo? For sure. Sister Wives? Sign me up. Hoarding Buried Alive? Well at least me house doesn't look like that! I need to catch up on this 90 Day Fiance business too.

4. What is the last movie you saw in the theater?

We don't see a lot of movies in the theaters (theaters make me panicky for some reason) but I always make an exception for anything Tolkien or Hunger Games related. As far as The Hobbit goes, I'm enjoying them for what they are, and that is a story loosely based on the book. I want to complain about Legolas being in it, but as the first love of my life, I will never complain about Legolas being in anything.

5. What are your top three favorite movies or TV shows?

Movies:

Honorable Mentions: Drop Dead Gorgeous, Mean Girls, Detroit Rock City, all of the Harry Potters, others I am probably blanking right now.

TV Shows:

Honorable Mentions: Tosh.0, Fantasy Factory, Ridiculousness, god pretty much any special on TLC where they profile someone with a crazy disease/ life

My taste in TV/ movies is pretty much the opposite of my taste in books, haha. I may be binge watching TLC but at least I'm reading War and Peace! ;)