Tuesday Troubles

Stolen (with permission!) from Jen at Ramblings of a Suburban Mom!

- WTF AVS? I AM TIRED OF THIS ROLLERCOASTER. I have nothing more to say to you.

-  Have I ever told you the tragic Tale of Two Rugs?

Once upon a time a suburban housewife was browsing Zulily when what did she spy but the absolute, most greatest, most perfect-est rugs for her house! They were the exact color grey she was looking for and best of all? She could get one in chevron and one in trellis! They would match without being identical and her entire bottom level would be tied together stylishly. The price (less than $200 a rug!) was almost too good to be true and she pressed the order button immediately, having not the forethought to consider what her husband's opinion would be of her purchase.

She waited anxiously for them to arrive- it almost seemed that they never would as it takes Zulily, on average, three years to ship something. But one fateful day her postman left her two long packages and she was thrilled! Finally everything would look alright in the house! She could take pictures for her blog and people would "oooh" and "ahhh"! The plastic wrapping was on tight and she had to stab the rugs as if she were in a horror movie to loose them from their packing bondage. And that's when she noticed the first rug... was YELLOW. Not the grey that had been ordered. Determined for at least thing to go right unwrapped the other one... And it was fraying! Aschewing the fainting couch, the wife ran to her computer and wrote Zulily a hasty e-mail.

Mere days later new rugs were delivered and the old ones taken away, and you'd think that'd be happily ever after right?! NOPE! You see, the wife had a very sweet, but very naughty puppy, who was basically as large as a house. One day this puppy, aided by his best friend the naughty toddler, decided to gnaw on one of the rugs, unraveling it as far as the eye could see! Crying, but without maiming either puppy or toddler, the wife haphazardly hot glued the rug back together and placed it going the opposite direction so that the damage would not be as noticeable.

But this, and an entire can of bitter apple spray, did not daunt the puppy. Soon he unraveled the other side of the first rug, and then both sides of the other rug! They were past the point of salvage, and as she pointed out to her husband that said they were "fine", the cream colored parts had also gotten unclean-ably dirty. There was nothing else she could do but toss them. And she did through tears of anger. Tears that tasted bitter like the perfect decorating opportunity wasted. The wife swore off rugs for good but her arch-nemesis non-textured-laminiate-flooring swayed her before she knew she was ready. Perhaps before she was fully done grieving, but the world always keeps working. Target always keeps making amazing things and selling them at amazing prices. And the wife always knew this.

And hopefully everything will be right in the world again.

(But don't worry, the saga hasn't ended yet! When choosing the "ship to store" option the wife somehow close for each rug to go to different stores!)

- R has taken to screaming/ crying "MY LEGS ARE BROKEN" when she doesn't want to do something/ do something alone. If she's really milking it she'll go "GO TO THE HOSPATAL, GET DEM CUT OFF!" (This is all the fault of her taking N's sarcasm literally.) But when I offer her Skittles? Oh those pretty little legs work just fine! We both feel like we're tricking each other here. And we both feel like we're winning but I'm pretty sure we're both actually losing. Skittles are a strange mistress.

- I finally ordered the bookcase for R's room yesterday and I'm meh about it but I needed to get it done. I got this one from Wayfair:

And it's not perfect but it'll do. Seriously how hard is it to find a bookcase that is half closed drawers, half glass drawers? There was a pretty nice on on Ikea but for $350 helllll nooooo. The doors on this slide which is annoying but it's mostly going to be for her keepsakes that I'm never going to be able to throw away (and she already has two huge shelves full of.) So god help us all I guess!!! (FWP)

- My first post-op doctor's appointment is next Monday and I'm hoping they can turn up my pacer and in doing so I'll start to get some relief. Because I still feel really shitty right now, with the addition of the feeling of a large weight buried in my abdomen, and I'm grumpy.

- I'm at a week post op and the IV bruises on my arms are gnarly than ever. I look like a serious needle drug user. It is BAD.

- I should do stuff this week but I will likely do no stuff re: pain. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯